搜寻信息时要避免陷阱
在和陌生人沟通时，当你通过积极的参与，你可以提高你的倾听技巧并记住重要的细节和要点。此外，当你表现出对他所讲的内容感兴趣时，对方会觉得很舒服。问你自己：“他讲的这些与我对这个话题的理解和经历有什么关系呢？”结合你已有的知识和你获得的新信息，你能提出新的问题和观点，这样交谈就很容易进行了。在将交谈指引到彼此感兴趣的领域时，要留心注意事实、细节，特别是更多的附加信息。
When you communicate with strangers, you can improve your listening skills and remember important details and points through active participation. In addition, when you show interest in what he has to say, the other person will feel comfortable. Ask yourself, "How does this relate to my understanding and experience with this topic?" By combining the knowledge you already have with the new information you have acquired, you can ask new questions and ideas, and the conversation will flow easily. Pay attention to facts, details, and especially additional information as you direct the conversation to areas of mutual interest.
不要唱反调，也就是说，为了争论而采取反对的态度。这通常会导致紧张的、竞争性的交谈，有胜者和败者之分。如果你在一群陌生人中让他们在朋友或同事前感到愚蠢或难堪时，你将不会受到欢迎。
Don't play devil's advocate -- that is, take an opposing position for the sake of an argument. This often leads to tense, competitive conversations, with winners and losers. If you make people feel stupid or embarrassed in front of their friends or colleagues in a group of strangers, you will not be welcomed.
交谈时要避开禁忌话题，如死亡、血腥犯罪、不幸的事件、个人丑闻，或宗教和伦理诽谤。不要把他人当成你可以倾诉苦恼的人。最好是从那些乐观的容易回答的问题开始。
In conversation, avoid taboo topics such as death, bloody crime, unfortunate events, personal scandal, or religious and ethical slander. Don't look to others as someone to whom you can talk about your troubles. It's best to start with optimistic, easy-to-answer questions.
当谈论专业领域的话题时，不要为了你的特殊问题而寻求免费的建议。例如，如果你遇到一个牙科医生，不要说：“对了，你是牙科医生！太巧了！哎，我这个牙有些疼，既然你在这，你能帮我看看吗？”多数专家不介意告诉别人他们的工作，甚至讨论他们的工作，但是他们不喜欢被人免费调用。
When it comes to professional topics, don't ask for free advice on your particular problem. For example, if you meet a dentist, don't say, "By the way, you're a dentist! What a coincidence! Well, I've got a bit of a pain in this tooth. While you're here, will you take a look at it?" Most experts don't mind telling people about their work, or even discussing it, but they don't like being called for free.