不要思考，注意听“关键词”

礼节性问题以一种自然、非正式的方式获得一些个人信息。你可以很快的了解这个人，而不必谈的过于具体。礼节性问题可以帮助你很快地决定是否要进一步地了解他。也会帮助你发现一些个人背景，给你机会发现一个人一生中的“大事”。

Etiquette questions are a natural, informal way to get some personal information. You can get to know the person very quickly without getting too specific. Etiquette questions can help you quickly decide if you want to get to know him better. It will also help you discover some personal background and give you the opportunity to discover the "big things" in a person's life.

当你发现他人感兴趣的领域时，一定要紧接着问一些开放性问题，得到一些其他的信息。当这个话题进展的似乎不太顺利的时候（你没必要只谈一个主题），转移到你和其他人更容易交流的其他问题上去。

When you find an area of interest for others, be sure to follow it up with open-ended questions to get additional information. When the topic doesn't seem to be going well (you don't have to stick to one topic), move on to other topics that you can talk about more easily with others.

不要思考，注意听“关键词”：如果你仔细倾听对方交谈的“关键词”、事实、观点、感受，以及附加信息的话，你就能知道接下来该说什么了。不要去想接下来该说什么，因为当你想的时候，你就听不到对方口中的信息了！甚至不知道对方正在说什么。解决这个问题的方法是当他人讲话时，采用主动的倾听技巧。这包括使用好的肢体语言，特别是眼神交流、微笑和点头示意。

Stop thinking and listen for key words: If you listen carefully for key words, facts, opinions, feelings, and additional information, you'll know what to say next. Don't think about what you're going to say next, because when you do, you won't be able to hear the message! They don't even know what they're saying. The solution to this problem is to use active listening skills while others are speaking. This includes using good body language, especially eye contact, smiling and nodding.

不善倾听、记忆力差、注意力不集中，这些问题都会影响你的交谈。

Poor listening, poor memory, and poor concentration can all affect your conversation.

问一些与你听到内容相关的后续问题，表明你在听对方讲话。寻找或想出一些支持或质疑交谈的实例。如果你不确定他人所说的，或者你不理解他人谈的内容，你可以要求对方举个例子来说明。

Show that you were listening by asking follow-up questions about what you heard. Look for or come up with examples that support or challenge the conversation. If you are not sure of what the other person is saying, or if you don't understand what the other person is saying, you can ask for an example.

不时地对他人讲话的内容进行总结，有助于你记住交谈的内容。你可以这样说：“听起来你好像是在说……，是吗？”这强化了你的倾听技巧，并帮助你记住交谈的重要细节和要点。

Summing up what others have said from time to time will help you remember what was said. Say something like, "Sounds like you're saying… Is it?" This strengthens your listening skills and helps you remember the important details and points of the conversation.

冒险交谈、礼节性问询、积极倾听、搜寻信息，再加上自我展示才构成完整的谈话序列。

Adventure conversation, courtesy inquiry, active listening, searching for information, and self-presentation make up a complete conversation sequence.