记住这50个交谈要点
如果你觉得其他人需要一些鼓励才能开口时，可以试着这样说：“今晚你很安静，有什么烦心的事吗？”“你看起来好像有什么事，你在想什么呢？”“你对我有什么想说的事情吗？”如果其他人没有反应，不要使劲勉强他。
If you feel the other person needs encouragement to speak up, try saying something like, "You've been quiet tonight. Is anything bothering you?" "You look as if something is wrong with you. What are you thinking?" 'Is there anything you want to say to me? If the other person doesn't respond, don't push him too hard.
要鼓励和积极反馈，不要总是批评。尽管还有仍待改进的地方，首先要表扬人们的积极努力，你真的必须去想一些好的方面加以称赞。不要在一句话里既称赞别人又批评别人，也很重要。当应该表扬对方时进行表扬，并认可他完成全部工作的努力。例如，对一个延时完成任务的孩子，“看到了你完成了作业，我真的很高兴。能写这样好的报告需要一定的时间。”然后纠正迟交的作业中的问题，你可以这样说，“你认为下次你能按时完成布置的作业吗？通过用积极的表扬鼓励小孩，然后用建议的方式提出了问题，”
Encourage and give positive feedback, not criticism. While there is still room for improvement, first praise people for their positive efforts. You really have to think of something good to praise. It is also important not to praise and criticize others in the same sentence. Praise the person when praise is due, and acknowledge the effort to get the job done. For example, to a child who has delayed completing an assignment, "I'm really happy to see you finished your homework. It takes time to write such a good report." Then correct late assignments by saying something like, "Do you think you can finish the assigned work on time next time? By encouraging the child with positive praise and then asking questions in a suggested way,"
拒绝是对你自信的考验。有时，人们会通过拒绝来观察他人在压力下的反应。如果你的反应是自卫的那种，你的敏感点很可能就会被击中。如果你自我解嘲，没有太在意拒绝，其他人就会认为你很自信和可靠。
Rejection is a test of your confidence. Sometimes, people say no to see how others react under pressure. If you react in a defensive way, your sensitive spots are likely to get hit. If you laugh at yourself and don't take rejection too seriously, others will see you as confident and reliable.
如果某人对你的批评是有根据的，不要用这样的词“但是”“尽管如此”“然而”和“仍”来遮掩，而是对他说：“可能你是对的！我应该怎么做？
If someone's criticism of you is valid, don't cover it up with words like "but," "nevertheless," "however," and "still." Instead, tell him, "Maybe you're right! What should I do?
得到你想知道的最佳方法是直接问他。大部分人更喜欢对方直接请他给什么或者做什么事。一些人不喜欢你拐弯抹角的要求，如果你想从他那知道什么，最好是让你的请求表达的清楚和直接一些。”我们都希望他人知道自己是怎么认为、怎么感觉和怎么想的。这些人拐弯抹角地提出请求，希望其他人能猜出自己的请求是什么。由于含蓄的请求经常被忽略和误解，所以最好是直接提出来。
The best way to get what you want to know is to ask him directly. Most people prefer to be asked directly for something or to do something. Some people don't like your indirect requests, so if you want to get something out of them, it's best to be clear and direct." We all want others to know what we think, feel, and think. These people make oblique requests in the hope that others will guess what they are asking for. Since implicit requests are often ignored and misunderstood, it's best to ask directly.
当一些人说出含蓄的请求时，你需要明白他想要你做什么。这时，你可以说，“你没有直说，不过你是想要我做……吗？”这样可以避免今后的误解。
When someone makes an implicit request, you need to understand what he wants you to do. Say something like, "You didn't say it directly, but you wanted me to… ?" This will avoid future misunderstandings.
让世界知道你就是你，而不要管你应该是什么样子——如果你做作，你迟早有停下来的一天，到那时候你怎么办？
Let the world know you are who you are, no matter what you are supposed to be -- if you pretend, sooner or later you will stop, what will you do then?
当你开始交谈时，要记住这些交谈要点。
When you start a conversation, keep these talking points in mind.
- 首先打招呼。
- 向他人进行自我介绍。
- 冒险，不要怕拒绝。
- 展示你的幽默感。
- 善于接受新的观点。
- 尽最大的努力记住他人的名字。
- 如果你忘记了某人的名字，那就再问一遍。
- 对他人要表现出好奇心和一定的兴趣。
- 告诉其他人你生活中的重大事情。
- 告诉他人你怎么样。
- 通过其他的方式重述他们的观点，让他人觉得你是很好的听众。
- 要和你遇到的人热情地交流生活中激动人心的事情。
- 走出你的生活圈子，结交新的朋友。
- 认可对方的个性。
- 和其他人交谈时，展现你的幽默感。
- 用简短的语句告诉别人你在做什么。
- 当有人忘记你的名字时，重新进行自我介绍。
- 给其他人讲述你做的一些有趣的、有挑战性的事情。
- 警惕开放的和关闭的肢体语言。
- 当你第一次和人交谈时，要使用眼神交流和微笑。
- 问候你经常看到的人。
- 在你认识的人当中，寻找共同的兴趣、目标和经历。
- 尽你所能地帮助他人。
- 让他人侃侃而谈。
- 直截了当地回答常见的礼节性问题。
- 要对对方的兴趣表现出热情的回应。
- 平衡好相互之间的信息交流量。
- 能谈论各种各样的话题。
- 对当前影响所有人生活的问题和事件保持关注。
- 敞开心扉听取他人的想法和感受。
- 向他人表达你的感受、观点和情绪。
- 当谈论私事时，使用“我”并表达你的感受。
- 在你想说“我”的时候不要用“你”。
- 让与你交谈的人觉得你很愿意和他交谈。
- 邀请人们和你一起吃晚饭，参加社会活动或者其他的交友活动。
- 与朋友和熟人保持联络。
- 征求他人的意见。
- 寻找你见到的积极的人。
- 以称呼他人的名字、握手或者热情问候的方式，来开始和结束你的交谈。
- 花点时间与你的邻居和同事用心聊聊。
- 让其他人觉得你想更多地了解他们。
- 向他人询问在上次谈话中他告诉你的事情。
- 仔细听取他人话中给出的线索。
- 如果有人和你的信念不同，则要容忍。
- 如果一个话题聊得差不多了，那就适时转换交谈的话题。
- 经常搜寻他人的兴趣点。
- 对人们的穿着、做的事情或说的话加以称赞。
- 发送接受的信号鼓励他人与你交流。
- 尽力找你喜欢、且在一起很开心的人交谈。
- 在你讲故事时，先陈述主要观点，接着说支持论点的详细内容。
1.Say hello first.
2.Introduce yourself to others.
3.Take risks and don't be afraid to say no.
4.Show your sense of humor.
5.Be open to new ideas.
6.Try your best to remember names.
7.If you can't remember someone's name, ask again.
8.Show curiosity and interest in others.
9.Tell other people about important events in your life.
10.Tell people how you are.
11.Retell their points in other ways that make you sound like a good listener.
12.Be passionate about what's exciting in your life with the people you meet.
13.Get out of your life and make new friends.
14.Recognize the other person's personality.
15.Show your sense of humor when talking to other people.
16.Tell people in short sentences what you are doing.
17.When someone forgets your name, reintroduce yourself.
18.Tell others about something interesting and challenging that you did.
19.Be alert to open and closed body language.
20.When you talk to someone for the first time, use eye contact and smile.
21.Say hello to people you often see.
22.Among the people you know, look for common interests, goals, and experiences.
23.Help others as much as you can.
24.Let others do the talking.
25.Give direct answers to common courtesy questions.
26.Respond enthusiastically to the other person's interests.
27.Balance the amount of information you exchange with each other.
28.Able to talk about a wide range of topics.
29.Stay aware of current issues and events that affect all people's lives.
30.Be open and listen to other people's thoughts and feelings.
31.Express your feelings, opinions, and emotions to others.
32.When talking about personal matters, use "I" and express how you feel.
33.Don't use "you" when you mean "I".
34.Make the person you're talking to feel like you want to talk to them.
35.Invite people to join you for dinner, social events or other networking events.
36.Keep in touch with friends and acquaintances.
37.Ask for other people's opinion.
38.Look for positive people you meet.
39.Start and end your conversation with a name, a handshake, or a warm greeting.
40.Take the time to have a thoughtful conversation with your neighbors and co-workers.
41.Let the other person feel like you want to know more about them.
42.Ask the other person what he or she told you in the last conversation.
43.Listen carefully for clues in what others are saying.
44.If there are people who don't share your beliefs, tolerate them.
45.If you've had enough to say about a topic, change the conversation.
46.Always search out other people's interests.
47.Compliment people on what they are wearing, doing or saying.
48.Send acceptance signals to encourage others to communicate with you.
49.Try to talk to people you like and have fun with.
50.As you tell your story, state the main idea first, followed by the details that support your argument.