让友谊不随谈话终止而结束

谈话的真正艺术不只是在正确的地点说正确的话，还得克制自己，在受蛊惑时不要把错的话说出口。

The true art of conversation consists not in saying the right thing at the right place, but in refraining from saying the wrong thing when tempted.

选择结束交谈的最佳时机。不管你是进行一个简短还是漫长的交谈，要有意识地以积极的方式结束交谈。在双方都表达了自己的意见，对彼此有了一定的了解之后，似乎是时候结束本次谈话了。当你觉得是时候结束交谈了，那就是说，讨论已经得出一个结论，或者一方必须离开，你要采取主动，发出信号表明你已经作好离开的准备。简短地总结对方已经表达的主要观点。这向对方表明，你一直在倾听并理解他所讲的，并为讨论得出了一个结论。

Choose the best time to end the conversation. Whether you're having a short conversation or a long one, make a conscious effort to end the conversation on a positive note. After both sides have expressed their opinions and have gotten to know each other, it seems to be time to end this conversation. When you feel it's time to end the conversation -- that is, the discussion has reached a conclusion or one party must leave -- you take the initiative and signal that you're ready to leave. Briefly summarize the main points that have been expressed. This shows the other person that you have been listening and understanding what the other person is saying, and that you have come to a conclusion for the discussion.

如果你们正在讨论一件特别的事情，你想发出一个结束信号，这时你可以说：“听起来你很了解这个问题，我会去阅读你提到的那篇文章的。”不要用一些陈腔滥调来结束交谈，例如“为什么我们不能一直在一起？”（这些通常是毫无意义的）另外，邀请欣赏电影，或共进晚餐及下周某个时间见面等提议都更具体。以一种友好和直接的方式，比如你可以说：“我真的很高兴和你交谈……下周我们一起去看电影或共进晚餐，你认为如何？我给你打电话。”通过这种方式，你表达了自己对对方的兴趣。而且邀请再次见面。这对于友谊和两人关系的发展是非常有促进作用的。

If you're discussing a particular issue and you want to signal the end, say, "Sounds like you know a lot about it. I'll read the article you mentioned." Don't end the conversation with cliches like "Why can't we be together all the time?" (These are often meaningless.) Other suggestions, such as a movie invitation, dinner or meeting sometime next week, are more specific. In a friendly and direct way, for example, you could say, "I really enjoyed talking to you… What do you say we go to the movies or have dinner together next week? I'll call you." In this way, you express your interest in the other person. And an invitation to meet again. This is very helpful to the development of friendship and relationship between two people.

记住，当你说再见的时候，要称呼对方的名字，以开放的、友好的肢体语言（眼神交流、微笑、温暖的握手）道别，然后离开。要避免持久的、冗长的告别。

Remember, when you say goodbye, use the person's name, say goodbye with open, friendly body language (eye contact, smile, warm handshake), and then leave. Avoid long, drawn-out goodbyes.

摆脱让你难受的交谈，假如一次聚会中，对方一直在夸耀自己的功绩，你可以趁对方说话中短暂的停顿时，快速插入（是一种可以接受的打断）几个“是”、“不是”，或者封闭性的问题。这样就可以打断喋喋不休的说话者，并且给自己说话的机会，（记住，你可以通过提出问题来主导谈话。）然后用简短的几句话再次声明你对他的最终观点的认同，你就可以准备走人了。你可以说：“很好，听起来你很喜欢你的工作，祝你你下一个项目顺利。我和我一个朋友打招呼去。”或者也可以说：“如果你不介意的话，我想去取点开胃小吃。”之后，微笑着和对方握手，称呼他的名字说，“很高兴与你交谈”，然后直接离开，你就摆脱这种局面了。你可能会担心他看到你并没有在和其他人交谈，另他不高兴。你可以试试这个简单的办法：去续杯饮料，取点吃的，或者去洗手间，然后花几分钟观察下周围情况，在房间中寻找一些更开放和易接受陌生人的小组或者人，然后径直走过去，加入他们的交谈。

Get rid of uncomfortable conversations. If you're at a party and the other person is bragging about his or her accomplishments, you can take advantage of short pauses in the other person's speech to throw in a few yes, no, or closed questions. This interrupts a babbling speaker and gives yourself the opportunity to speak (remember, you can dominate the conversation by asking questions). Then, in a few short sentences, re-state that you agree with his final point of view, and you're ready to leave. You could say, "Well, it sounds like you're enjoying your work. Good luck with your next project. I'm going to say hello to a friend of mine." Or, "I'd like to grab an appetizer, if you don't mind." After that, shake hands with a smile, call the person by name, say, "Nice talking to you," and walk away, and you're out of the situation. You may worry that he won't be happy to see that you're not talking to anyone else. Try this simple solution: Go get a refilling drink, grab something to eat, or use the bathroom. Take a few minutes to observe your surroundings, look for groups or people in the room who are more open and open to strangers, and then walk right up to them and join in.

该如何才能很机智地结束与抱怨太多的人交谈呢？

How do you tactfully end a conversation with someone who complains too much?

你可以使用这样的话表达你的同情：“听起来，你现在的处境很难。”或者“听到你有麻烦，我很难过。”这样的话可以示意对方你确实在听他讲，并且对他的问题给予了足够的重视。当应对抱怨者时，完全可以接受的是说几句建议和鼓励的话语，如“别着急，问题会解决的，”或者“有这个麻烦的人不止你一个，如果这样想，你感觉就会好一些。”然后很真诚地说：“我希望你的事情会有结果。”微笑着和对方握手，说：“我得去和一个朋友打个招呼。”然后称呼着对方的名字说再见，就可以很快地摆脱这种情况。

You can express your sympathy by saying, "Sounds like you're in a tough spot." "Or" I'm sorry to hear you're in trouble." This shows the other person that you have been listening and are paying enough attention to his questions. When dealing with complainers, it's perfectly acceptable to offer a few words of advice and encouragement, such as "Don't worry, the problem will be solved," or "You'll feel better if you think that you're not the only one with this problem." Then say sincerely, "I hope things work out for you." Shake hands with a smile and say, "I have to go say hello to a friend." You can quickly get out of the situation by saying goodbye by the other person's name.

但是即使是对好朋友，可以倾听的抱怨也是有限的。关键是要把握好度。即你该花多长时间去讨论朋友的烦恼和提供的建议。不管你想帮他多少，事实是除了他自己，没有人可以解决他的问题。首先通过确认他的真实处境来决定你谈论他的问题的时间长短。这不会让他失望，表明你在听。让他想出一些想法，很明显地表明你将不能帮他解决问题。比如，你可以说，“山姆，听起来你的工作不是很顺利。那你有什么想法呢？”他可能会回答他没有任何的主意，希望你可以给予帮助或者继续谈论他的问题。这时，你可以说，“嗯，我确信你可以想出解决问题的办法的。”既然友谊是双向通道，那你也有权利期望他成为一个好的听众。可以改变话题说一些你想说的，比如你可以说，“顺便说一句，我一直想对你说……”然后通过说“我希望你的工作能有所改善”，以一种乐观的态度结束交谈。

But even for good friends, there is a limit to how many complaints to listen to. The key is to get it right. This is how much time you should spend discussing your friend's troubles and offering advice. No matter how much you try to help him, the truth is that no one can solve his problems except him. Decide how long you want to talk about his problems by first confirming his true situation. It doesn't disappoint him and shows you're listening. Asking him to come up with ideas makes it clear that you won't be able to solve his problems. For example, you could say, "Sam, it sounds like your job isn't going so well. What do you have in mind?" He may answer that he doesn't have any ideas and ask you to help or continue talking about his problem. At that point, you can say, "Well, I'm sure you can figure out how to solve this problem." Since friendship is a two-way street, you have every right to expect him to be a good listener. Change the subject and say something you want to say, such as, "By the way, I've been meaning to tell you…" Then end the conversation on an optimistic note by saying, "I hope your work will improve."

我们都有过这样的交谈经历，和我们交谈的人试图让我们做一些有悖于我们愿望的事情。例如一个固执的销售员，你可以说：“我很欣赏你的热情，但是请不要浪费你的时间了，我没有兴趣。谢谢。”这个有效的技能可以作为“打破前例”的参考，允许你没有争论而坚持自己的意见。从而避免被操控。如果老板要求你加班，你可以说：“我理解我需要偶尔加班，但我也有其他的事情，所以一般来说，我下午5点以后是无法工作的。”这样，通过让你的老板知道你的工作时间是有限的，有可能的时候他会作别的安排。

We've all been in conversations where the person we're talking to tries to get us to do something that doesn't go along with our wishes. For example, a stubborn salesperson, you could say, "I appreciate your enthusiasm, but please don't waste your time. I'm not interested. Thank you." This effective skill serves as a reference for "breaking the precedent" and allows you to assert your opinion without arguing. To avoid being manipulated. If your boss asks you to work late, say, "I understand I need to work late occasionally, but I have other commitments, too, so generally I can't work after 5 p.m." That way, by letting your boss know that your hours will be limited, he'll make other arrangements when possible.