让别人更容易地理解你

有几个因素会影响说话的人，使听者无法明白说话人的意思。第一个因素是由于各种原因，部分听者不愿意改变。有些人倾向于保持一定的思想、感受和行为的习惯方式，固定的思维方式他们会感到踏实，而不用担心被利用。持有“不相信他人是安全的”这样的态度，加强了抵制改变的想法。

There are several factors that affect the speaker and make it difficult for the listener to understand what the speaker is saying. The first factor is that for various reasons, some listeners are reluctant to change. Some people tend to stick to certain habitual patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. They feel grounded in fixed ways of thinking without fear of being taken advantage of. Having an attitude of "not believing that others are safe" reinforces resistance to change.

有时候你与某人争夺注意力会困扰其他人，他们不再想听你说，取而代之的是其他的参与者可能在想他自己的事情，不会理会你的交谈。因为他注意力分散，所以可能会错过你的观点和论点，从而引起误解。注意力分散的迹象是，对方问些不必要的问题、作不相关的评论，或者提出些你之前已经谈论或回答过得。这些迹象都是表明对方不再与你的思维同步，他没有做好采纳或者考虑你的观点的准备。

Sometimes you compete for someone's attention and it bothers the other person that they no longer want to listen to you and instead the other participant may be minding his or her own business and won't pay attention to your conversation. Because he is distracted, he may miss your ideas and arguments, which can lead to misunderstandings. A sign of distraction is when someone asks unnecessary questions, makes irrelevant comments, or brings up something you've talked about or answered about before. These are all signs that the other person is no longer in sync with your thinking and is not ready to adopt or consider your point of view.

不能让他人明白你的意思还有另一个原因，就是你对他人作了无根据的推测。你可能想当然地推测他人知道和理解许多事情。当对方仍保持沉默、机械性点头、暗示接受或者理解时，加强了你无根据的推测，鼓励你继续想他是与你一起的。当听者最终对你正在谈的内容失去线索的时候，情况就会变得相当尴尬。你会觉得你是在自言自语，而听者就会感觉像个白痴。

You may assume that others know and understand many things. When the other person remains silent, nods mechanically, and hints at acceptance or understanding, it reinforces your unfounded assumptions and encourages you to continue thinking that he is with you. When the listener finally loses track of what you're talking about, it can get pretty awkward. You'll feel like you're talking to yourself, and the listener will feel like an idiot.

一个人保持他的思想的独立程度决定了他对外界影响和说服的接受程度。这样的人通常接受能力较低，因而不容易接受你的观点。

The degree to which a man maintains his independence of thought determines his receptiveness to outside influence and persuasion. Such people often have a low receptivity and will not readily accept your point of view.

想让他人考虑你的想法，可以直接告诉他人你交谈的目的可以鼓励协作和接受。“我之所以讲这个是因为……”或者“我很想和你谈谈……”。这种开诚布公可以让人产生信任感，这样，对方在回应时会觉得更舒服。如果你不能说明你提问的目的，那么他人可能会感到紧张、疑虑，或者不自在。说出你提问的动机，对方将会有意去回答你的问题，而不需要过分的谨慎。

To get others to consider your idea, being direct about the purpose of your conversation encourages collaboration and acceptance. "I tell you this because…" "Or" I'd love to talk to you…" . This kind of openness creates a sense of trust, which makes the other person feel more comfortable responding. If you can't explain the purpose of your question, the other person may feel nervous, suspicious, or uncomfortable. State your reason for asking and the other person will want to answer your question without being overly cautious.

另外一个让他人接受的重要因素是尊重他人。我们大多数的态度和感受是无声的表达。当你问他人的观点时，你是在给他人的一个赞美，因为你正在说你看重他的观点。

Another important factor in acceptance is respect. Most of our attitudes and feelings are silent expressions. When you ask for someone's opinion, you are giving them a compliment because you are saying that you value their opinion.