克服最常见的5个交谈障碍（二）

障碍4：“没有我不知道的事情”。有些人感觉需要去表现一个这样的形象，即他们知道一切，并擅长任何事情。他们担心如果说“我不知道”，别人会认为他们没有能力、很愚蠢。做一个“全能”的人会破坏交谈，因为你传递的信息是其他人的想法和感受对你来说都无所谓。这会切断信息、想法和感受的交流，而仅仅是把你自己抬高到一个领导的地位。

Obstacle # 4: "There's nothing I don't know". Some people feel the need to project an image that they know everything and are good at everything. They worry that saying "I don't know" will make them look incompetent and stupid. Being an "all-powerful" person ruins the conversation because you're sending the message that it doesn't matter to you what other people think or feel. This cuts off the flow of information, thoughts, and feelings and simply elevates yourself into a position of leadership.

所以，可以说“我不知道”。因为这样会让对方因为你的诚实而尊重你，而不是小看你的无知。

So, say "I don't know". This will make the other person respect you for your honesty instead of belittling your ignorance.

假设有人提到一本书、一部电影或者一位明星，你会意地点点头，似乎你知道他所说的。很可能随后（可能很多次）显露出你对这方面并不熟悉，那么你给对方的印象可能就是你仅仅是在应付交谈。这就会影响交谈。这样会给对方留下一个不好的印象。他在随后的交谈中不再信任你。为了避免投射一个虚假的图像，承认你存在缺点、缺乏经验或对某个特定的话题一无所知，寻求对方的回应。多数情况下（除非他人是试着去鄙视你），他们都会表示理解。这呈现了一个平衡的你，并容易创造一个更可信赖的个人形象。

Suppose someone mentions a book, a movie or a star and you nod knowingly as if you know what he's talking about. It's likely that later on (probably many times) it will come out that you're not familiar with the subject, and you may give the impression that you're just dealing with the conversation. This will affect the conversation. This will leave a bad impression on the other person. He no longer trusts you in subsequent conversations. To avoid projecting a false image, acknowledge your weakness, lack of experience, or ignorance about a particular topic and seek a response. In most cases (unless the other person is trying to despise you), they will be understanding. This presents a balanced you and easily creates a more reliable personal image.

障碍5：“我好烦”。有些人总是回避而不参加交谈。他们认为自己没有兴趣进行交谈。这是逃避和自我欺骗。逃避是避免面对人、情况和问题的一种方法。那些害怕打扰他人或不想努力争取交谈的人是不能真正地给他们自己机会的。

Obstacle 5: "I'm bored." Some people always shy away from conversation. They don't think they're interested in having a conversation. It's avoidance and self-deception. Avoidance is a way to avoid facing people, situations and problems. People who are afraid to disturb others or don't make the effort to talk can't really give themselves a chance.

宽恕你自己。如果你自己内心的声音一直在说“没有人会对我说的感兴趣的”，那么就说明你对自己太严厉了。当然，他人不能看懂你的心思，但是他们通常会将你的沉默理解为厌倦、缺乏兴趣，想尽快结束交谈。这样很有可能给他人留下不好的印象。将注意力集中在你生活中的积极事件上——你曾经为之兴奋的事件或经历——和你的热情所在的事情上。

Forgive yourself. If your inner voice keeps saying, "No one is going to be interested in what I have to say," then you're being too hard on yourself. Of course, people can't read your mind, but they'll often interpret your silence as a sign of boredom, lack of interest, and a desire to get the conversation over with as soon as possible. This is likely to leave a bad impression on others. Focus on the positive events in your life -- the events or experiences you've been excited about -- and the things you're passionate about.