至少应该了解并掌握的4种交谈方式

减少交谈失败的方法是了解和掌握各种谈话的方式。每个人都有自己的谈话方式，基本是这四类中的一种。

The way to reduce conversation failure is to understand and master the various ways of talking. Everyone has their own way of talking, which is basically one of these four categories.

1. 率直的：这种是以很坦诚的方式进行交谈，这种方式的特点是（会说自己想说的话，而不是装腔作势，喜欢各种各样的竞争，经常把交谈看成比赛，在交谈中喜欢争论、辩论或者让他人相信你的观点。喜欢“东一句，西一句”随意地发言，）交谈的弱项是（因为喜欢竞争，所以把交谈看成比赛，而且你必须“赢”。给别人感觉很直爽、有强求的感觉，太具有攻击性。很容易让那些精力不旺盛或者谈话方式不直接的人感到不耐烦。“胡说八道”的习惯忽视了别人的感受，太过于直接而影响到他人。）具有率直的聊天方式的人可能喜欢谈论的有（体育、犯罪、商业人物、冒险故事、动作电影、政治、企业奋斗、金钱、权力、军事体验、规划）和这样的人聊天要注意这些“要”和“不要”。要显示你对他们的工作和个人目标有真正的兴趣，这些人喜欢谈论他们自己和他们的成就；不要和他们进行任何的辩论，即使他们向你的观点挑战。他们喜欢争论，擅长争论，并总能赢；要得到他们的观点和建议。你可以从这些有目标的人身上学到很多；不要提及过分的细节和复杂的解释。他们喜欢宏大叙事，会对这些小细节不耐烦的；要显示不出风头的幽默感。他们喜欢那些不害怕自嘲的人；不要生气，如果他们质问你或轻视你的成绩。戏弄和鄙视是他们测试你自信心的方式；Straight-forward: This is a style of talking in a very open and honest manner. This style is characterized by (saying what you want to say rather than putting on AIRS), enjoying all kinds of competition, often viewing the conversation as a contest, and enjoying arguing, arguing or convincing others of your point of view. The weakness of conversation is that because you love competition, you view conversation as a race, and you have to "win." You come across as too pushy and straightforward. Too aggressive. It's easy to get bored with those who aren't energetic or direct in their conversation style. The habit of "bullshit" affects other people too directly by ignoring their feelings. Some of the things people with a straightforward style might like to talk about are (sports, crime, business figures, adventure stories, action movies, politics, corporate struggles, money, power, military experiences, planning). Be aware of these "do's" and "don 'ts" when talking to someone with such a style. Show that you have a genuine interest in their work and personal goals. These people love to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Don't engage in any debate with them, even if they challenge your point of view. They like to argue, they are good at arguing, and they always win; Get their opinion and advice. You can learn a lot from these goal-oriented people; Don't mention excessive details or complicated explanations. They like grand narratives and get impatient with small details. Show an unobtrusive sense of humor. They like people who aren't afraid to laugh at themselves; Don't get angry if they question you or belittle your achievements. Teasing and disdain are their way of testing your confidence;
2. 内敛型的：（可以用“深思”这个词来描述这种交谈方式，当交谈时，是温和的、冷静的。因为这种方式没有威胁性，别人会对这种人敞开心扉。一般来说是一个优秀的倾听者，也同情他人的感受，尤其是对认识的人。一旦认识一个人，能够放松自己，很容易进行沟通。）弱项是：（容易消极，让人对自己产生误会，认为你是害羞的、不感兴趣的、势利的或者不愿进行沟通。经常被攻击性或多言的人打败，当自己感到焦虑的时候，会闭口不言。因为害怕说错事、打扰或侵犯他人，这阻碍了自我表现，通常使自己在交谈开始的几分钟感到尴尬。）具有内敛的聊天方式的人可能喜欢谈论的有（人际关系、人情味故事、个人故事、电影明星、食物、烹饪和餐馆、家居装饰、艺术、音乐、剧院、诗歌、舞蹈、书籍、社会问题、爱好、园艺、动物、家庭）和这样的人聊天要注意这些“要”和“不要”。要表明谈论他们的兴趣和愿望，这些人需要额外的鼓励去进行交谈；不要进行攻击、批评或者争论。一有冲突的迹象，他们就会立刻停下来，结束交谈；要询问他们对人们关心的事情的观点、感受和见解。如果你让他们知道你看重他们所说的，那么他们就会打开话匣；不要打断他们或者补全他们的句子。这些人经常停顿去考虑他们的用词，所以给他们时间完成说话；要通过强调共同的观点和兴趣来鼓励他们。表示你感兴趣对于他们袒露自己的观点时必要的；这种交谈方式的人在对陌生人开放前，要花点时间。Introverted :(The word "thoughtful" can be used to describe this style of conversation, and when it comes to conversation, it is gentle and calm. Because it's non-threatening, people will open up to this person. He is a good listener in general and also empathizes with the feelings of others, especially those he knows. Once you get to know someone, you can relax and communicate easily. Weaknesses: You tend to be negative, giving people the wrong impression of yourself as shy, uninterested, snobbish, or unwilling to communicate. Often defeated by aggressive or talkative people, they will shut up when they feel anxious. Fear of saying the wrong thing, disturbing or offending the other person hinders self-expression and often makes you feel embarrassed within the first few minutes of a conversation.) People with inside collect way of chat may like to talk about a (relationships, personal stories, personal stories, movie stars and restaurants, food, cooking, home decoration, art, poetry, music, theatre, dance, books, social problems, the hobby, gardening, animals, family) chat with such a person to pay attention to the "to" and "don't". To demonstrate their interest and desire to talk about them, these people need additional encouragement to engage in conversation; Don't attack, criticize, or argue. At the first sign of conflict, they would stop and end the conversation; Ask for their opinions, feelings, and insights about the things that people care about. If you let them know that you value what they have to say, they'll open up. Don't interrupt them or complete their sentences. These people often pause to consider their words, so give them time to finish speaking; Encourage them by highlighting shared views and interests. Demonstrating your interest is necessary for them to air their views; People who talk this way take time before opening up to strangers.

3.集中型：（喜欢谈话主题集中而深入细节。吸收、评估和传授信息的能力很强，能很好地交谈一些技术性话题，如计算机、工程技术、或者其他细节（程序）性的话题。喜欢“行话”和更严肃的话题，需要细节知识和解决问题的能力。）交谈的弱项是：（很少会“打破僵局”，所以给人感觉是害羞的、不愿意交谈的。愿意讨论关于特殊话题的折磨人的细节，这往往会使听者失去兴趣，并且不明白这种人的主要观点。而且这类型人的逻辑方法给人的印象是，对那些不理解技术和复杂主题的人或想法不同的人缺乏耐心，遇到其他人时过分严肃，因为这类型的人避免进行“闲谈”。） 具有集中式的聊天方式的人可能喜欢谈论的有（科学、数学、建筑学、计算机、设计、股票、市场、技术、工作原理、发明、科幻、奥秘、家庭装修和工具）和这样的人聊天要注意这些“要”和“不要”。要表扬他们的技术知识，这些人喜欢以他们的智力给他人留下深刻的印象；不要辩论或反驳他们的观点。他们讨厌出错和被别人批评；要鼓励他们谈论专业领域以外的话题。将你们的交谈联系到相关主题，或期待听到关于电脑硬件、泵或其他你想知道的却从未想到的任何事情；不要太频繁地转变话题。这种方式的人喜欢一次就讨论一个话题；要温和地将话题转变至感兴趣的轻松话题。这些人喜欢长时间详细讨论一个严肃或单调乏味的话题；不要生气，如果你听到批评或主动提供的建议。他们把任何事情都看成一个有待解决的“问题”他们想得到所有问题的答案。Focused :(likes the topic of conversation to be focused and get into detail. Ability to absorb, evaluate and impart information. Ability to communicate well on technical topics such as computers, engineering, or other detailed (procedural) topics. Likes "jargon" and more serious topics. Knowledge of details and problem solving skills are required. Conversation weakness :(rarely "breaks the ice", so comes across as shy and unwilling to talk. Willing to discuss excruciating details about a particular topic often leaves the listener uninterested and missing the main point of this person. Also, this type's logical approach gives the impression of being impatient with people who don't understand technical and complex topics or who think differently, and being overly serious when meeting others because this type avoids "small talk.") People who have a focused chat style might like to talk about (science, math, architecture, computers, design, stocks, markets, technology, working principles, inventions, science fiction, mystery, home decorating, and tools.) Be aware of these "do's" and "don 'ts" when talking to such people. Praise their technical knowledge. These people like to impress others with their intelligence. Don't argue or refute their point of view. They hate making mistakes and being criticized; Encourage them to talk about topics outside their field of expertise. Connect your conversations to relevant topics, or expect to hear about computer hardware, pumps, or anything else you wanted to know but never thought of; Don't change the subject too often. People with this style like to discuss one topic at a time; Gently change the conversation to something light and interesting. These people like to discuss at length a serious or tedious topic; Don't get angry if you hear criticism or unsolicited advice. They see everything as a "problem" to be solved and they want answers to everything.

4.多言式：（是一种外向的交谈方式。这种经常会被人告知“说话没完没了”。是有能量的健谈者。只要有听众，就可以谈任何事情。始终喜欢和他人接触，一直是他人注意的中心。很乐意加入关于任何话题的交谈。给人感觉很友好、并且是个有趣的人。总是愿意接触他人。）交谈弱项是：（太能说了。当说话较少的人和这种类型的人交谈时，会感到受到了挫折，因为这种类型的谈话方式是压倒性的。容易显示成为他人注意的中心，使其他人觉得他们被忽视了。有时候不会倾听，不给他人讲话的机会。）具有多言式的聊天方式的人可能喜欢谈论的有（他们自己、朋友和家人、旅游、食物和娱乐、流行文化、爱好、自我提高、成功人士、不一般的传媒故事、幽默事件、他们的希望和梦想、宠物、一些非技术的、简单的事情）和这样的人聊天要注意这些“要”和“不要”。要让他们有中心舞台，他们渴望承认和关注，所以要显示你欣赏他们的努力；不要对技术主题或有难度的概念进行详细的解释。他们会感到困惑、失落和无聊；要和他们分享你的兴趣，如果你不这样做的话，他们就会喋喋不休；当你打断他们谈话的时候，不要觉得内疚。如果你不大声说的话，你将永远插不上嘴；要觉得有趣，显示你的幽默感，嘴重要的是，要觉得他们的玩笑好笑。他们很想让他人喜欢他们，想他们是有趣的；不要讨论沉重的或太严肃的话题，玩得开心是他们交谈的一个首要目的。Polymorphism :(is an outgoing form of conversation. They are often told to "talk on and on". They are powerful conversationalists. As long as there is an audience, you can talk about anything. Always enjoy contact with others, always be the center of attention. Be happy to join in any conversation about any topic. He is a friendly and fun person. Always be open to reaching out to others. Conversation Weakness :(Too eloquent. People who talk less often feel frustrated when they talk to this type of person, because this type of conversation is overwhelming. They tend to appear to be the center of attention and make others feel neglected. Sometimes they don't listen and don't give people a chance to talk.) Have many words type chat of people might like to talk about a (themselves, friends and family, travel, food and entertainment, popular culture, hobbies, self-improvement, successful people, not the general media stories, humor events, their hopes and dreams, pets, some nontechnical, simple things) chat with such a person to pay attention to the "to" and "don't". Let them have center stage; they crave recognition and attention, so show that you appreciate their efforts; Don't elaborate on technical topics or difficult concepts. They feel confused, lost and bored. Share your interests with them. If you don't, they won't stop talking. Don't feel guilty when you interrupt their conversation. If you don't speak up, you'll never get a word in edgewise. Be funny, show your sense of humor, and most importantly, laugh at their jokes. They really want others to like them, to think they are interesting; Don't discuss heavy or too serious topics, and having fun is a primary purpose of their conversation.

把这四种交谈方式混合，你将会是一个全能的健谈的人。加强你的强项，消除你的弱项；调整你的交谈方式去“适应”他人的交谈方式；练习和那些与你的交谈方式不一样的人如何交谈；

Mix these four types of conversation together and you'll be an all-around conversationalist. Strengthen your strengths and eliminate your weaknesses; Adjust your conversation style to "fit" someone else's; Practice talking to people who don't talk the same way as you;

怎么马上识别陌生人的交谈方式呢？用心去观察，他们是喜欢“闲谈”还是只喜欢“行话”？他是直达主题还是有所保留？他是好辩的还是容易相处的？在单位、家里、商场或在任何地方，当你和他人交谈时，养成一个观察他人交谈方式的习惯。很快，当你和陌生人或者老熟人交谈时，你就会获得成功。而且，你将会开心地在这些交谈的舞池中翩翩起舞。

How do you instantly recognize a stranger's conversational style? Pay attention. Do they like "small talk" or just "jargon"? Is he straight to the point or is he holding back? Is he argumentative or easy-going? When you talk to other people at work, at home, at the mall, or wherever you are, make a habit of observing how they talk. Soon, you will be successful when you talk to strangers or old acquaintances. And you'll have fun dancing on the dance floor of these conversations.