这样交友最有效

爵士乐歌手比莉·哈乐黛曾经说过：“如果我没有朋友，那么我将一无所有”。

Jazz singer Billie Holiday once said, "If I don't have friends, I've got nothing."

如果你重视友谊，那么交友就是目标。据说爱是盲目的，友谊是无法察觉的。交友并非总是很容易。交友需要时间、努力、奉献、相互让步，还要忍受我们都有的人性的脆弱。尽管许多人愿意开始新的友谊，但是诸如事业和家庭的生活追求似乎更优先。有些人认为发展友谊花费大量的时间和精力。友谊需要相互信任，而信任需要时间去培养。为了获得他人的信任，你必须透漏一些个人信息和感受。

If you value friendship, making friends is the goal. It is said that love is blind and friendship is imperceptible. Making friends is not always easy. Making friends takes time, effort, dedication, give-and-take, and the human frailty we all have. Although many people would like to start new friendships, life pursuits such as career and family seem to take precedence. Some people think it takes a lot of time and energy to develop friendships. Friendship requires mutual trust, and trust takes time to develop. In order to gain the trust of others, you must disclose some personal information and feelings.

结交和保持友谊的4个关键原则：1.尝试去与他人接触、联系；2.对他人表示真正的兴趣；3.尊敬和友好地对待他人；4.把你自己和他人看成独特的个体，你们有很多可以分享。

There are four key principles for making and maintaining friendships: 1. Try to reach out and connect. 2. Show a genuine interest in others; 3. Treat others with respect and kindness; 4. See yourself and others as unique individuals who have much to share.

去你喜欢的地方结识朋友。可以接触人的地方有很多，毫无疑问，有些地方更利于接触一些特别的人。“正确的地方”可以是一个社交活动、教堂、政治聚会，甚至是一个成人教育班。如果你们有共同的兴趣，那么你们就在正确的地方了。与有相似兴趣的人接触。随处都可以开始新的友谊。去发现你们是否有共同点。如果条件允许，就可以开始友谊。瞄准“兴趣点”有时你在真正接触一个人前，要先了解这个人。记住观察他携带的东西，如储物包、溜冰鞋、文件夹或者其他任何可以给你提供线索的物品。然后问：“那天我看见你拎着一大包食品走在街上，你喜欢烹饪吗？”当你和他人交谈时，如果提到你们之前交谈的信息，他将会感到惊喜和高兴。像这样的评论“你的工作找得怎么样了？”或者“你的花园一切还好吗？”会向他人表明你确实在听他们讲，而且你关心发生在他们生活中的事情。保持友好——不要太沉重或者太严肃。利用礼节性问题发出这样的信息：“我想更多的了解你。”

Meet people in places you like. There are lots of places to meet people, and there are undoubtedly places that are more conducive to meeting someone special. The "right place" could be a social event, church, political gathering, or even an adult education class. If you have common interests, then you are in the right place. Engage with people with similar interests. New friendships can start anywhere. Find out if you have something in common. If conditions permit, a friendship can begin. Sometimes you have to get to know a person before you really get to know them. Remember to watch what he is carrying, such as storage bags, roller skates, folders, or anything else that can give you clues. Then he asks, "I saw you the other day walking down the street with a big bag of food. Do you like to cook?" When you talk to someone, he or she will be pleasantly surprised and pleased if you bring up information from your previous conversation. Comments like, "How's your job search going?" "Or" How's everything in your garden? It shows others that you are actually listening to them and that you care about what's going on in their lives. Be friendly -- not too heavy or serious. Use polite questions to send a message like, "I'd like to know more about you."

让别人感觉到他的重要。当你记住你遇到的人的细节后，你会使他们觉得受到了特殊的待遇。你的注意表明你的兴趣和好奇心，并鼓励他们交谈和透漏更多的信息。当人们开始展现自己的时候，这表明你获得了信任，并且说明他们和你在一起感到很自在。

Make others feel important. When you remember the details of the people you meet, you will make them feel special. Your attention shows your interest and curiosity and encourages them to talk and reveal more information. When people begin to express themselves, it shows that you have gained trust and that they feel comfortable around you.

不要等着自我介绍。当交谈中有停顿的时候，抓住时机说，“顺便说一句，我叫xx。能否告诉我你的名字呢？”你越快介绍你自己，就越容易。记住，你等待自我介绍的时间越长，你就会感到越不自在。

Don't wait to introduce yourself. When there's a pause in conversation, seize the moment and say, "By the way, my name is XX. May I have your name?" The sooner you introduce yourself, the easier it will be. Remember, the longer you wait to introduce yourself, the less comfortable you'll feel.

喜欢，就说出来。不要太强烈地追求你刚刚认识的人。要随意、平常、自在一些。慢慢来，不要着急和强求。

If you like it, say so. Don't try too hard to pursue someone you just met. Be casual, normal, and comfortable. Take your time. Don't rush or push.

在和你想更熟悉的人进行随意的交谈时，可以建议有时间出去喝茶、喝咖啡或其他的非正式活动。这表明你很喜欢这个人，愿意和他在一起。“你什么时间方便呢？”或者“今晚怎么样？”试着去确定具体的时间和地点。

Suggest time to go out for tea, coffee or other informal activities while having a casual conversation with someone you'd like to get to know better. It shows that you really like the person and want to spend time with them. "What time would be convenient for you?" "Or" How about tonight? Try to determine a specific time and place.

当你和他人聊天时，竖起耳朵听有关“食物”的热门话题，很容易通过问一些关于附近的餐馆、喜欢的食物或者难忘的美食之类的问题，而切入主题。说：“你知道这附近不错的餐馆吗？”或“拐角那家餐馆如何？”或“你去过那个饭店吗？我听说那儿的饭味道很不错。”一旦你表明了你对食物有相似的爱好，接下来可以建议，“下周某天下班后一起吃饭怎么样？我知道一家味道不错、气氛很好的餐馆。”通常都会接受你的邀请。如果你期望他人买单，那么你必须等待邀请。如果你们是各付己账，就没有什么不好意思的，你们双方都可以邀请。

When you're talking to someone, listen for hot topics about "food." It's easy to cut to the chase by asking questions about nearby restaurants, favorite foods, or memorable cuisines. He said, "Do you know a good restaurant near here?" "Or" How about that restaurant on the corner? "Or" Have you been to that restaurant? I've heard the food there is very good." Once you've stated that you have a similar interest in food, then suggest, "How about meeting for dinner after work sometime next week? I know a good restaurant with a nice atmosphere." I usually accept your invitation. If you expect others to pay, you must wait for an invitation. If you go Dutch, there's nothing to be ashamed of, you can both invite.

围绕共同的兴趣计划一个活动。在你们非正式的相处一段时间后，计划一个更长的活动，一个你知道他会很感兴趣也会喜欢的活动。可以是去看电影、骑车出游，或者出去吃饭。只要是共同感兴趣的事情，是什么都无所谓，开心是关键。将时间建议在接下来的一星期内。你可以这样开始你的邀请：“我记得在我们之前的交谈中，你说你喜欢（活动），所以我想你是否有兴趣与我一起……”。给朋友打个电话确定你已定的见面计划，仅仅打个招呼。如何更自在地和他在电话里交谈呢？1.舒服的姿势，最好是坐着。要直接说明你是谁，而不要玩“猜猜我是谁”的游戏，说，“你好，我是xx，你现在方便接电话吗？”2.问一些个人生活方面的细节，如，“你的写作进展得如何了？”或者“你的工作面试结果如何？”3.告诉他人为什么你打电话。“我只是想确认一下我们的见面安排”4.结束电话交谈时可以说，“我们很快就要见面了”或者“我期待星期六和你在一起。”

Plan an activity around a common interest. After you spend some informal time together, plan a longer event, one that you know he'll find interesting and enjoy. This could be going to the movies, going for a bike ride, or going out to eat. As long as it is something of common interest, it doesn't matter what it is. Happiness is the key. Suggest a time within the next week. Start your invitation by saying, "I remembered from our earlier conversation that you said you enjoyed [events], so I was wondering if you'd be interested in joining me…" . Call a friend to confirm your plans to meet and just say hello. How can you be more comfortable talking to him on the phone? 1. Comfortable position, preferably sitting. Be direct about who you are, rather than playing the "guess who" game by saying, "Hello, this is XX, is it convenient for you to speak?" 2. Ask about personal details like, "How's your writing coming along?" "Or" How did your job interview go?" Tell the other person why you're calling. 4. End a phone conversation by saying, "We'll be meeting soon" or "I look forward to seeing you on Saturday."

一旦你已经与喜欢的人有所接触，并发现你们共同喜欢的活动，就要经常保持联系，这样友谊才能得以发展。当你被邀请参加一个活动时，尽量接受邀请。这可以加强他人对你的友好度。并鼓励他与你分享他的经历和活动。如果你拒绝了太多的邀请，其他人会想你对聚会没有兴趣。

Once you've made contact with someone you like and discovered activities you both enjoy, keep in touch so that friendships can develop. When you are invited to an event, try to accept the invitation. This reinforces the friendliness of others towards you. And encourage him to share his experiences and activities with you. If you turn down too many invitations, people may assume you're not interested in the party.

积极地回应他人。让你的朋友为你介绍新的地方、人、食物或者任何他们想要和你分享的东西。这表明你是开放的，可以接受你的朋友的观点，他们和你分享他们喜欢的事情时就会感觉很好。也尝试去邀请你的朋友参加你喜欢的活动。努力分享你感兴趣的一些特殊的事情。这给你表露对他们的好感的机会，而且，你可以以一种微妙的、间接的方式传达更多的信息。一起参加活动也能让你更好地控制你们之间交流与发展联系的方向。

Respond positively to others. Ask your friends to introduce you to new places, people, food, or anything else they'd like to share with you. This shows that you are open to your friends' opinions and they feel good when they share things they like with you. Also try to invite your friends to activities that you enjoy. Make an effort to share something special that interests you. This gives you a chance to express your feelings for them, and you can convey more information in a subtle, indirect way. Going to events together also gives you more control over the direction of your communication and connections.

及时增进友谊。有时候友谊就像植物，缓慢而稳定的成长。当你们一起分享更多的经历时，你们的友谊得以成长。可以以这些方式进行表达：我们是好朋友已经有一段时间了；我们一起渡过了一段这么美好的时光；我不知道没有你我该怎么办；我想感谢你过去的几个月给予我的帮助和支持，真的非常感谢；我们一起度过的几个月真的很有趣。我过得很开心！

Promote friendship in time. Sometimes friendships are like plants of slow but steady growth. Your friendship grows as you share more experiences together. We have been good friends for a long time; We had such a wonderful time together; I don't know what I would do without you; I want to thank you for your help and support over the past few months. I really appreciate it. It was a really fun few months we spent together. I had a great time!

当你和一个很久没有见的老朋友在一起，应该从哪里谈起呢？当和老朋友交谈时，重新建立联系和将彼此拉回到现在，是很重要的。因为这么长的时间内，会有很多的事情发生。把谈话集中在你生活中大的改变上，以及一些你们未来将要一起作决定的事情上，说出你的想法，以得到朋友的反馈。从你的朋友那儿搜寻相似的信息也是同样重要的。对于他来说，也有很大的变化，你可能必须鼓励他去谈。了解他对正在做的事情的想法，他正要去哪里，或者他正在与谁交往。

When you are with an old friend whom you haven't seen for a long time, where should you start? When talking to old friends, it's important to reconnect and bring each other back to the present. Because so many things can happen in such a long time. Focus the conversation on the big changes in your life and some future decisions you'll make together. Speak your mind and get feedback from your friends. It's also important to seek out similar information from your friends. For him, too, there is a big change, and you may have to encourage him to talk. Find out what he thinks about what he's doing, where he's going, or who he's associating with.

“拥有朋友的唯一的方法就是让自己成为别人的朋友”据说一个朋友可以完全了解你，但不是在任何时候都喜欢你。人们成为朋友和维持友谊发展是需要灵活和忍耐的。为你的朋友做你所能做的，当他请求帮忙时，尽可能地去帮忙。这些都会让你收获友谊。如果你能作好别人的朋友，那么你就拥有了好的朋友。和朋友一起成长。一起学习和进步是朋友交往中最令人高兴的一面。

"The only way to have a friend is to be one." It is said that a friend can know you completely, but not like you all the time. It takes flexibility and patience for people to become and sustain friends. Do what you can for your friend, and when he asks for help, help as much as you can. These will help you gain friendship. If you can be a good friend to others, then you will have a good friend. Grow with your friends. Learning and improving together is one of the most enjoyable aspects of friendship.